Have had some satisfactions this week on the novel which I thought studies would cause me to put away. No doubt eventually studies will, but for now they have revived it.
It groweth in increments, and that has been something of a revelation for me this first semester. I started out desiring greater satisfactions than I was able to achieve, and have learned to postpone them in order to reach them incrementally. What I mean is that I often want to feel like I’ve accomplished more than was accomplished, honest effort notwithstanding. I haven’t valued the way things can go adding up as I should, or taken it into consideration. So I’ve learned to give things some time and be satisfied with the effort, whatever it adds up to, and then take the thing up again and again. I’ve done better at things this way. I might spend three hours walking in the park trying to think about how things are going to be and have in the end little to show, but thinking about things that way is not wasted time. One figures out a few things, but they become crucial, and eventually a difficulty is overcome. It has happened quite a bit this semester.
And so I just overcame today a difficulty that was looming over me for a while, so that even if the PhD comes to naught, still I shall have learned a good deal from it about many things, and this semester about thinking and writing mainly.