Types of Legitimate, Acceptable Hot Dogs

This is for the benefit of persons who may be wondering what kind of hot dogs are legitimate and acceptable by me. These parameters are trustworthy and do not change.

Note: it is not legitimate to use a curled slice of bread. Buns are required at all times with the exception of #4 which obviously requires no bread.

Another note: it is generally recommended that Hebrew National hot dogs be used in all instances with the exception of #4.

1 The basic hot dog: ketchup, mustard, pickle and onion, the last two diced. Relish can be substituted but is not preferred. Sweet pickles are not legitimate though for some reason sweet pickle relish will do if that’s all there is. Those four ingredients must all be present for this one to reach acceptability. Anything less is not worth it.

2 The kraut dog: sauerkraut and mustard of any kind. Nothing more and nothing less.

3 The chili dog: good, decent chili is all you need to add. This one has the option of cheese but it is not necessary. That last also means that if the option of cheese is taken, it has to be good cheese and not just whatever.

4 Hot dog and mac & cheese: for every box of mac & cheese slice at least two hot dogs into coin shaped slices of 1/8 of an inch or less (though not much less). Boil hot dogs with the noodles, of course. The whole must have a good amount of green sauce mixed in in order to be acceptable. Green sauce, as always, is preferrable when duly aged. The green sauce cannot be from a can.


10 thoughts on “Types of Legitimate, Acceptable Hot Dogs

  1. The only way to cook hotdogs is to fry them in butter on a flat iron. It is absolutely amazing (and the better quality hotdog, the more amazing the results)!

    What is “PINK SAUCE”?

    1. Healthier than what?

      Green sauce = jalapeños, tomatillos, onion, cilantro, lemon, salt all blended up with maybe some oil. The tomatillos are the main thing with onion making a strong showing.

      Apples and hot dogs are not within my parameters.

      1. I’m not sure I can think of a variety of fresh produce that’s more underrated than tomatillos. I go with lime over lemon though. Amazing with eggs. Never tried it with hot dogs.

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